What: “Blog Night @ Ray’s”; a kick off event for the conversion of Kingston Alley to Ray’s Entertainment Sports Grille (Ray’s ESG) with free appetizers and happy hour priced drinks for all bloggers. When: Tuesday, September 4, 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Where: 7355 Kingston Pike, Knoxville, Tennessee. Why: All bloggers are welcome, RSVP by…

A former male radio personality, Vietnam veteran, former car salesman, four-time divorcee gets breast augmentation, becomes a woman, and gets lengthy coverage in the press. Go figure.

It appears that The University of Tennessee and Phillip Fulmer have settled out of court in regards to the poor performance of the UT Football program over the past few years. Coach Fulmer is making a $1 million payment, which will hopefully be used as a bonus to keep Coach Bruce Pearl on-board for the…

The largest lead manufacturer in China rocked the Shanghai stock exchange today when it announced a full recall of all materials produced over the past three years. Reports indicate that an unacceptable number of toys have been found mixed within the lead, causing unacceptable danger to those responsible for smelting. It is possible that the…

NASA announced earlier today that the Space Shuttle Endeavour cannot be made safe for a return flight home, and will be left in orbit indefinitely. “An emergency mission has been scheduled for October to place a series of cinder blocks underneath the disable shuttled,” says Mission Control PR spokesperson Bubba Spacely. “I’ve had my ’87…

In a new development, U.S. border patrol agents are baffled by a rare wormhole they have found dug under the U.S.-Mexico border fence. The wormhole was discovered by agents patrolling the Arizona border early Thursday in the Coronado National Forest. Reports say it was covered by brush, but agents spotted flashes of light coming from…

On June 5th, by a slim margin, Oak Ridge voters have selected to move forward with the construction of two black holes within the city. The first is to be located atop Pine Ridge, and the second will be hidden near the bottom-line of the city’s budget. Had the selection not been made to proceed…

An anonymous member of the Tennessee legislature has leaked a memo that circulated after the budget surplus was discovered. The memo described in detail how the public relations firm, hired to cover the news, planned on helping the legislature come up with ways to make the public think they were getting money back but not…

Last month, Jack Eckelston brought a new franchise to Knoxville called “Carb Neutral.” The concept is loosely based on the “carbon neutral” fad and offers fat people the option to offset their carbohydrate intake by purchasing bran muffins for skinny people. “It is common knowledge that many overweight people do not like health food, and…

In an attempt to seem more human, Hillary Tracker has noticed that the junior senator from Arkansas New York is making an effort to bond with audiences around the country by trying to sound like them. Lately, the press has been reporting that Hillary has adopted a Southern accent in various public speaking engagements. In…

Knox County Schools is considering a drastic measure in response to all the “whining West Knoxville parents who would rather send their kids to an old, run-down school instead of a nice new shiny school that doesn’t have the word ‘Farragut’ written on it.” Since nobody seems to be happy sending their children to a…

In a desperate attempt to become relevant for the 2008 presidential elections, some Republican strategists are scrambling to resurrect important dead historical Republican figures. Among the soon-to-be-living are Abraham Lincoln and Ronald Reagan. “We just can’t get a break,” explained one strategist on condition of anonymity, “the Democrat candidates are hogging all the news stories,…

Governor Bredesen gave in to pressure today after mounting criticism of his Christmas card depicting a teenage girl he met while in an Afghanistan chat room. His new Christmas card depicts a teenage girl he met while in a North Korean chat room. “I’m not sure whether she is Buddhist or Confucianist, that wasn’t in…

Knoxpatch (KP) His abilities to use illegal funds to keep failing businesses afloat have caused some to flock to his side (some of these include: Brian Conley, Jack Neely, Bill Snyder, and Allan Miller). His personality made it impossible to dislike him. Now, Scott West has finally been sentenced for his drug and money laundering…

Knoxpatch (KP) In a local news first, WBIR this week will introduce a transgender news programmer. The new staff member, a flamboyant news junkie named Starla, hopes to attract a portion of the growing transgender television market. Initial assignments include sprucing up Schwall’s World and the Heartland Series. Starla’s introduction to the airwaves will take…