Just moments after learning of the difficulties in Washington, TN Rep. Julia Hurley solved the problem of balancing the budget. “That wasn’t so hard!” exclaimed Rep. Hurley, “What the hell has all the fuss been about?” Although she couldn’t do it a second time, an intern was able to duplicate the process for a photo.Â
Knoxville Habitat for Humanity discovers theft of homes
On the heels of announcing that more than $11,000 was embezzled by Linda Dianne Smith, Knoxville Habitat for Humanity made another disturbing discovery. Smith also, it appears, stole as many as 9 homes, which have been constructed in her backyard. Kelle Shultz, Knoxville Habitat president claims she has no idea how Smith had the homes…
‘Pong’ headed to the big screen in IMAX and 3D, starring Johnny Knoxville and Megan Fox
Several classic video games are getting movie treatments. As reported at Knoxville.com, ‘Space Invaders’ is one such film. Reports announced late today say that ‘Pong’ is being rushed into production, hoping to beat ‘Space Invaders’ to the screen. The film is to very closely follow the storyline of the game, but will be in 3D…
Miss SC lost 110 pounds before winning pageant, reveals secret
While on tour in Knoxville, Tennessee as part of her official duties, the 22-year old Bree Boyce let the world in on a huge secret. She lost 110 pounds before becoming Miss South Carolina. “I want to let people know, you know, to inspire them,” says Boyce, “People think that you have to workout or…
Haslam seeks waiver to ‘No Child Left Behind,’ promotes manual labor
Governor Haslam explains why he is seeking a waiver to the ‘No Child Left Behind’ program. “It’s not that our state CANNOT educate students as well as other states. It’s that we don’t want to. Our growth plan for the state works best if we don’t. Our best plan for growth is to capture the…
Michael Vick brings cock fighting to Knoxville, gets Nike endorsement back
NIKE has officially re-signed Eagles quarterback, Michael Vick to endorsement deals. Â “We feel that our actions dropping Vick four years ago, might have been rash,” say NIKE officials, “While we don’t condone his behavior, we feel that he has made positive changes to better himself off the field.” About his 21 month stint in prison,…
Dunkin’ Donuts launches Krispy Kreme donut flavored donut
The donut wars have stepped up a notch in Knoxville. In response to Krispy Kreme launching a Cheerwine flavored donut, Yankee-owned Dunkin’ Donuts has responded with a Krispy Kreme flavored donut. According to a Dunkin’ Donuts press release, “….clearly they have lost focus on what people enjoy, which is donuts. By making a donut that…
Knoxville July 4th fireworks moved to Pete DeBusk’s house
Safety concerns and fears of fire nearly forced the cancellation of fireworks celebrations in Knoxville this year, but a new venue was found at the last minute. Pete DeBusk, of DeRoyal Industries, has offered up a portion of his home for the fireworks celebration. “I have a couple spare bedrooms that are almost as big…
Oak Ridge ‘Walking Man’ finds car, drives away
The ‘Walking Man’ has long been a fixture of Oak Ridge, even developing a following that brought him his own Facebook group. As it turns out, he has simply been looking for his car. Late Saturday evening, he was seen running towards a car near the Grove Theatre and yelling “I found it, I found…
Freeze flash mob overtakes downtown
Friday night saw a freeze flash mob on Market Square in downtown Knoxville. Precisely at 8 p.m. participants froze in their steps for five minutes. Several elderly participants, citing a desire to “be a part of the human furniture that was laid out about the beauty of humanity,†unfortunately could not straighten up from the…
Image of Barack Obama seen in pickle at Pete’s Coffee Shop
Peter Natour, owner of Pete’s Coffee Shop claims to have found the image of Barack Obama in a pickle. “I’m so excited that Obama chose our shop to materialize in a pickle. We’re especially honored due to the fact that he did so on a Saturday, when he’s usually playing golf,” says Natour. Although many…
Knoxville News Sentinel to replace comics with links
Due to the overwhelming volume of Letters to the Editor that results from any change to the comics section, and to be much more inclusive, the comics section of the Knoxville News Sentinel will soon feature only strip titles with links to the strips’ official websites. An anonymous source from the paper explained that the…
Developer announces opening and closing dates of Sunshphere and Lord Lindsey venues
A local developer, Tony Cappiello, is bringing upscale nightclubs to both the Sunshphere and the Lord Lindsey. Knowing that neither venue will be able to draw enough business to remain open, he has announced the opening of the venues as Fall 2011 with closure slated late Spring of 2012.
Heads explode as Publix, Costco announced
Many Knoxville non-natives are going out of their way to let their satisfaction and happiness be heard after grocery store Publix and discount warehouse Costco announced plans to build stores in Knoxville. Excitement is so intense that the heads literally exploded for five out of eight non-native Knoxville residents we interviewed. The sooner both stores…
Rash of elderly diaper inspection continues in Knoxville airport
The Transportation Security Administration has denied that its agents required a 95-year-old woman to remove her adult diaper last week before allowing her to pass a screening checkpoint at McGhee Tyson Airport. “We didn’t request that she remove her diaper, only that she allow us to inspect it. Removal was completely up to her. We…