Month: November 2002

I managed to attend “Harvey” this weekend. This was my fifth viewing of the story on stage. I doubt that anyone needs an overview of the story…if you were smart enough to use a computer and find this story you are informed enough to know the storyline. In brief, an imaginary (or maybe not) white…

Knoxville resident Eugene Grainger is trying to blow the world’s largest bubble. So far, he has only succeeded in blowing the world’s third largest bubble. The record is held by Ernestine Churchill of Kensington, England, who blew a bubble 15.2 feet in diameter. The number two spot is filled by Johnny Newberry of somewhere in…

Knoxville’s only real newspaper, the Knoxville News Sentinel, has one of the worst websites of any newspaper I have ever visited. The website is difficult to navigate and finding news anywhere on it is almost impossible. On the other hand, visiting a TV STATION website appears to be the best way to find local and…

President Bush has learned that inclement weather causes more deaths annually than the recent terrorist attacks and is prepared to respond. A resolution has been drafted declaring war on Mother Nature if she doesn’t allow free and clear access to all potentially harmful tools including, but not limited to; ultraviolet radiation, hail, potential and realized…

Once upon a time, a dance craze struck Knoxville. That craze was the Funky Chicken. Abandoned for more trendy dances, such as the Lambada, the Macarena, and swing, the Funky Chicken worked itself slowly around the world, settling into such rural communities as Savannakhet, Laos, and across the Mekong river in Mukdahan, Thailand. As there…

KNOXVILLE, TN. (Knoxpatch) – In what appears to be a copycat crime based on the Washington-area sniper, Knoxville residents are living in fear of an individual on a rock throwing spree. Ten Knoxville residents and four out-of-state visitors have been hit by various sized rocks while going about their daily routines. Two women sustained the…

KNOXVILLE – Freshwater shrimp have been garnering quite a bit of press recently as a possible new crop for Tennessee to help offset reduced demand for tobacco. The major drawback to farming freshwater shrimp is that not everyone has the water and facilities to get into the business. Farmers without suitable ponds have been searching…

Researchers from Knoxville’s Supreme Council of Antiquities, inspired by a recent discovery around Knoxville of an early wheel prototype, decided to study the Sunsphere in downtown Knoxville. The Sunsphere is a monument believed to be built by early settlers of the Tennessee Valley. Some theorize it could have been built as early as 1980, but…

After much fierce debate, a plan for redevelopment of Knoxville’s own Market Square has been approved to proceed. The plan, which will cost taxpayers $432 million, will be completed by June of 2006. It will be executed by the 16th development firm that has attempted to redevelop the square, Jebediah, Eli, & Zechariah, Associates out…

In an attempt to ride the wave of success felt by Johnny Knoxville, Ernie Claxton wanted to start his own TV show. Unlike Knoxville’s show, which features gross-out gags, Claxton wanted to feature antics rednecks might perform after uttering the famous words “Hey, hold my beer!” All 3 major networks and 15 minor ones turned…

Those watching the UT Volunteer football team over the past few years may have noticed subtle changes in the look of the current coach. Although his salary is rather sizeable, and kickbacks are received for various product placements, this simply wasn’t enough. With each passing week he has slowly increased in size in an effort…

A recent battle regarding the preservation of a mailbox in the Historic Fourth and Gill Neighborhood (http://www.historicknoxville.com/tour.htm) has resulted in an unparalleled victory for preservationists. Bryan Hoag recently moved into the Fourth and Gill neighborhood with hopes of enjoying a long life in Downtown Knoxville. Before kicking back and enjoying the long, slow Knoxville sunsets…

In an attempt to squeeze as much success out of CSI as possible, CBS is adding market-specific programs. CSI: Knoxville will premiere near Christmas 2002. Mostly local actors, KPD, and hosts of local news programs will be utilized to add ‘gritty realism’ to the program. Similar to CSI and CSI: Miami, CSI: Knoxville will follow…

Now that the Universe Knoxville concept has been officially shut down, Knoxpatch.com has learned that a new plan is on the fast track to production. A new multi-use facility will be built instead, with a Bahamian atmosphere flowing into the streets of downtown Knoxville. A city block from Cable Beach, on Nassau Island, will be…

For the fourth time this month, the criminal known only to authorities as the “Stoplight Bandit” struck again yesterday afternoon. He managed to alter the stoplight at the intersection of Westland Drive and Gallaher View Road without being noticed. The Bandit has hit three other lights around Knoxville this month alone, including the light on…