In order to make inroads with members of PETA, the Knoxville Zoo has announced a new “Wild Vegetable” exhibit that will open in Summer 2003. Zoos across the United States have often come under fire due to the fact that some activists feel that wild animals are not given proper living conditions. Recent accusations in…
Month: November 2003
First Tennessee Bank accused of dumping radioactive shredded paper
While looking for things to complain about, Goss Peterson local misguided activist, claims to have come across potentially radioactive shredded paper discarded in an open lot near the First Tennessee Bank building in Downtown Knoxville. “I didn’t know what I was looking for, but I was certain I could find something in this portion of…
Power outage causes Mayor Ashe to miss several meetings
A recent power blackout in the Northeast has caused Mayor Ashe to miss several meetings. Although Knoxville wasn’t directly impacted by the blackout, nobody was around to inform Mayor Ashe. Sources say that he was sitting in his office listening to headphones when word of the outage was announced. Afraid of leaving the office under…
Typo at TVA brings about workplace caning and new OSHA regulations
This is just one of the signs nowrequired to be posted in the workplace. A freak accident at TVA has brought about a new wave of OSHA regulations. According to Brandy Raines, a relatively new office employee (name withheld for legal reasons) simply wasn’t working out. “She wasn’t performing in the way that we thought…
Dr. John Shumaker accepts position as head of Tenncare
Governer Bredesen has appointed Dr. John Shumaker as the new head of Tenncare, just days after announcing that Shumaker has resigned as President of the University of Tennessee. “A simple review of the mission and vision of Tenncare identified Shumaker as a natural fit.” claimed Bredesen. Tenncare promotional materials point out that the organization’s behavior…
Walmart to open Southern Baptist churches inside of Superstores
A part of Walmart’s continuing effort to regulate the morality of the American public, the retail giant announced today that it will be opening Southern Baptist Churches in each of it’s 2500 superstore locations. The flagship church location will at the Super Walmart on Walker Springs here in Knoxville. When the church at opens July…
South’s Finest Chocolate factory halts production of Madeline Rogero confections
The South’s Finest Chocolate Factory has halted production of their newest confection, an edible bust of Madeline Rogero. After bringing the new treat into public eye with a great deal of hoopla, it turns out that residents simply haven’t enjoyed the as much as expected. One customer was overheard to say that “…although this is…