Butterball and Jennie-O pledge to defend turkey

In the wake of disturbing news from NATO, Butterball and Jennie-O have stepped forward where France, Germany, and Belgium would not. Although typically thought of only as competitors, both companies have pledged to work together and “….fight to the death if necessary” to defend turkey.

Representatives from both firms expressed deep concern and bewilderment as to why Iraq would wish to harm turkeys. Although the United States celebrates its history by cooking turkeys, they are never harmed for pure joy.

As far as a pre-emptive attack on Iraq is concerned, neither organization appeared completely ready to make the first move. But indications are that this new alliance could partner with Pepperidge Farm and beat the stuffing out of Iraq.