Weigel’s announces “Ice Caps” bottled water


Weigel’s Farm Stores has secured sole rights to bottle and bring to market the refreshingly clean taste of the quickly melting polar ice caps. By having the foresight to seize this opportunity, it is expected that Weigel’s will quickly dominate the bottled water market and possibly exit the dairy business. When asked if they will be able to meet the expected demand, representatives from Weigel’s implied that they have found ways to guarantee availability of the water by dramatically reducing the cost of gasoline for drivers of SUVs. It is believed that this simple offering will provide enough additional emissions to keep the caps flowing freely and providing healthy water at a low cost.