Currently viewing the category: "Politics"

Tennessee Valley shedding water at an alarming rate

On February 9, 2012 By

A new study indicates that the Tennessee Valley is shedding water at an alarming rate.  If nothing is done to stop it, all water in the Tennessee Valley will soon enter the Tennessee River, the Ohio River, the Mississippi River, and finally the Gulf of Mexico, causing ocean levels to rise.  The study, funded by [...]

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Victor Ashe: The Musical set to debut

On February 1, 2012 By

Sometime in early summer 2012, the Old Gringo Productions release of Victor Ashe: The Musical is set to debut at the Tennessee Theater.  In development for nearly 5 years, the production tells the tale of Victor Ashe’s rise to fame and fortune as the Ambassador to Poland, set to the music of Queen.  It chronicles [...]

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Romney has surprise up sleeve

On January 31, 2012 By

Anonymous sources have confirmed that, if chosen as the Republican nominee for President, Mitt Romney will name Hillary Clinton as his VP running mate.  “The implications of this move are astounding,” explained Republican strategist Burt Elefante.  In order to secure Ms. Clinton on the ticket, Romney had to promise there was at least an 80% [...]

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Stacey Campfield still welcome in some Knoxville restaurants

On January 30, 2012 By

Based on the news yesterday that Stacey Campfield was denied service at a restaurant most Knoxvillians thought closed for good in 1986, astute Knoxpatch.com staff began calling other local eateries to check their policies on refusing service to customers of various levels of notoriety.  Bill Lockmith, manager of Ruth’s Chris Steak House, told us they [...]

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Herman Cain excited to learn Lee Greenwood is still alive

On October 11, 2011 By

Lee Greenwood has joined the list of celebrities jumping into politics by announcing his endorsement of Herman Cain. A spokesperson for the Cain campaign stated that, “Like other Americans, we’re excited to find out that Lee Greenwood is still alive.”

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Mix-up leads Sarah Palin to Tennessee Valley Farms

On September 16, 2011 By

After weeks of hoopla surrounding Sarah Palin’s planned visit to Tennessee, a simple mix-up led her in the wrong direction. Expected at the Tennessee Valley Fair, she showed up today at Tennessee Valley Farms. Although she was unable to meet with supporters, she still had the opportunity to have animals lick her hands, so she [...]

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Witnesses spot Sarah Palin blowing smoke on Market Square

On September 16, 2011 By

This is a special news alert!   Several witnesses contacted our tip hotline today to report seeing Sarah Palin on Market Square earlier this morning. She wandered through Krutch Park and admired the other sculptures.  She was overheard blowing smoke about this evening’s scheduled stop at the Tennessee Valley Fair.

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With record numbers on food stamps, Obama announces a plan

On September 15, 2011 By

“I’ve tried food stamps, and I understand all the complaints about the number of Americans receiving them, they taste awful,” states President Obama. “That’s why we’re moving the country’s best scientists to a secure location to work on a way to make food stamps taste better…and hopefully not stick to the roof of your mouth.”

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Palin promises big announcement at Tennessee Valley Fair, bringing Color Me Badd

On September 13, 2011 By

As announced earlier, Sarah Palin plans to take the stage at the Tennessee Valley Fair on September 16. Her visit has been met with a bit of controversy because it forces the cancellation of a planned concert by Boyz II Men.

Today, we received notice that a big announcement can be expected that [...]

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University of Tennessee researchers launch study to find out “WTF is wrong with nearly 40% of population?”

On August 14, 2011 By

The latest Gallup tracking poll has shown President Obama’s ratings to be just under 40% approval. These numbers, although depressing to the President, has some researchers asking, “Just WTF is wrong with 40% of the population?” One group of researchers at UT is taking up this question, and hopes to find out just what folks [...]

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