Nominations are now open for something that truly matters. We want to determine what, in Knoxville, truly is irrelevant. East Tennessee’s Best…someone else has that under control. Now’s your chance to be heard, make your nominations today for East Tennessee’s Least Relevant for 2011. Nominations will close on September 16, with an official run-off of…
Category: Knoxville
Knoxville proper: downtown, the county, and every ribbon cutting in between.
UT Athletic Department News
The assistant secretary to the associate soccer coach tripped over a power cord on her way to the water cooler yesterday afternoon, just as a volcano erupted in Yellowstone and blew the country in half. Witnesses report she stumbled slightly but was able to correct herself, and proceeded to refill her cup with fresh, cool…
As U.S. cities adapt to climate change, residents selected for North Knoxville dome city
Cities across the United States are making plans for adapting to climate change. At the forefront of plans, the City of Knoxville has announced plans for a dome that will cover Historic Old North Knoxville. The placement of the dome was selected due to the historic nature of the structures in the region. The biggest…
Green Acres Flea Market learns from Turkey Creek Public Market
Green Acres Flea Market has announced that they will no longer be described as a ‘Flea Market.’ “Our vendors have struggled over the last few months,” says the owner. “Then, along comes the Turkey Creek Public Market, and people flock to it. It’s crap in a barn, just like we have. Therefore, we’re changing our…
Palin announces visit to Tennessee Valley Fair, replaces Boyz II Men
With a better-than-expected reception at the Iowa State Fair, Sarah Palin has announced plans to visit fairs across the United States as the summer winds down. Palin denied speculation that the state fair tour was a precursor to a Presidential campaign, “That’s ridiculous,” Palin said. “I just like it when all the farm animals lick…
Flea Fancy magazine ranks Knoxville most flea friendly city in Southeast
Flea Fancy magazine ranks Knoxville most flea friendly city in Southeast. According to a release, the magazine, cites the fact that Knoxville is so darn dog friendly. The city has a multitude of activities and organizations that are tailored to providing fleas with a buffet of choices. Specifically, the magazine cites the fact that Knoxville…
World’s Fair Park geysers rebranded as ‘World’s Largest Bidet’ to spur tourism
In order to boost tourism revenues, World’s Fair Park will be rebranding the popular geysers as the ‘World’s Largest Bidet.’ Although the attraction will still be open to the general public, the health department is urging that those that still wish to let children play in the water limit exposure to 15-minute increments.
City tackles growing rat problem with help from KARM
Rat infestation is a problem in every city, and has become increasingly apparent in Knoxville. As a way to combat the problem, the City of Knoxville has developed a new publication, ‘100 Ways to Eat a Rat,’ which is being dispersed solely at Knoxville Area Rescue Ministries. KARM will, in turn, provide .10 for each…
“Rent Is Too Damn High” guy wins Knoxville mayoral debate
After relocating to Knoxville from New York, reportedly due to the rent being too damn high, former New York gubernatorial candidate Jimmy McMillan decided late Thursday to run for mayor of Knoxville. “I heard about the debate, and decided I’d throw in my voice,” he explained. “There are lots of things in Knoxville that are…
Claxton resident claims ‘Squatter’s Rights’ to take Bull Run Fossil Plant from TVA
In an unexpected twist, a Claxton resident has claimed ‘Squatter’s Rights’ to take the Bull Run Fossil Plant from TVA. “When TVA made news recently with an attempt to buy 175 acres of land in Claxton, it got me to thinking,” explains Ima Jeane. “I’ve been living here in the coal for the past 12…
Union Avenue Books credited with shutdown of Borders
Since opening its doors on June 1, Union Avenue Books has made quite a ripple throughout the economic landscape of booksellers. “The general public is tired of a large selection, and ordering online is a thing of the past. Stores like Union Avenue Books in Downtown Knoxville have done us in,” says a spokesperson for the…
Demand for Cloud Services spike during heat wave
As a heatwave grips much of the US, requests for Cloud Services have spiked. According to Jan Johnson, one of Knoxville’s go-to tech gurus, “This is partially due to misinformation about what Cloud Services truly are, it’s one of those terms that is confusing to those with less technical savvy. However, if we can get…
Knoxville Lemonade Crimes Division arrests 12 in overnight sting
Twelve individuals were arrested for lemonade crimes by the Knoxville Lemonade Crimes Division during a sting operation conducted Friday night in North Knoxville. Knoxville Police conducted the sting on Virginia Avenue, Beaumont Avenue and Central Street between 8:30p.m. Friday and 2:00 a.m. Saturday. According to Knoxville Police Department spokesman Darrell DeBusk, “This puts us on…
Knoxville Habitat for Humanity discovers theft of homes
On the heels of announcing that more than $11,000 was embezzled by Linda Dianne Smith, Knoxville Habitat for Humanity made another disturbing discovery. Smith also, it appears, stole as many as 9 homes, which have been constructed in her backyard. Kelle Shultz, Knoxville Habitat president claims she has no idea how Smith had the homes…
Knoxville July 4th fireworks moved to Pete DeBusk’s house
Safety concerns and fears of fire nearly forced the cancellation of fireworks celebrations in Knoxville this year, but a new venue was found at the last minute. Pete DeBusk, of DeRoyal Industries, has offered up a portion of his home for the fireworks celebration. “I have a couple spare bedrooms that are almost as big…