The results are in, and the Best of Knoxville Newspaper Closing for 2014 is the Metro Pulse!

And, this gives us a reason to blow the dust off the Commodore 64, fire up our digital printing press, and put Knoxpatch back into motion.

Stay tuned…

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Although they still maintain that they aren’t saying that they did or did not do anything wrong, sources close to Knoxpatch.com writers tell us that Jimmy Haslam is making an offer to those stating they were hurt by Pilot’s business practices.

According to our sources, Pilot will buy back all fuel purchased by those impacted [...]

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In response to the US Presidential elections, the remaining modern Maya people have issued a collective statement on behalf of their elders. “Told you so, pack up your shit, get in a bunker, and take your guns with you. It’s over.”

 

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Dewey defeats Truman

On November 6, 2012 By

A simple reminder to all the press, bloggers, and opinionated people like myself. Nobody yet knows what is going to happen. If you haven’t voted, go do so.

 

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The media has given a great deal of attention to the spike in gun sales during the 2012 election cycle, but according to local retailers, other items have spiked as well. Just as the Republicans have rushed to purchase guns in fear of Obama’s gun-control policies, Democrats have purchased 2 x 4’s and 4 x [...]

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As pointed out by the Knoxville News Sentinel, Don Bosch, Judge Baumgartner’s attorney, made liberal use of other trial lawyer’s closing statements this past week. When questioned about the lack of original verbiage in the proceedings, Bosch simply stated that, “If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit.”

How this applies to the case at [...]

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In Lenoir City, feral hamsters are a growing problem that residents say must be dealt with. “It started in the 80’s, when the popularity of hamsters spiked,” states Lenoir City animal control representatives. “People would vacation in California and bring hamsters back with them, releasing them into the sewers as they tired of the little [...]

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On the heels of acquiring the Lucasfilm Ltd library, which includes Star Wars and Indiana Jones, Disney announced early this morning that they have also completed negotiations to gain control of Knoxville’s popular Live At Five At Four.

“It’s a natural fit to our collection of traditional animated characters,” says Disney. “Although we’ve recently expanded [...]

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