Category: News

The metropolitan Knoxville area was temporarily shut down this morning on rumors a snowflake had been spotted. News of the snowflake spread like wildfire and everything immediately ceased to function. Upon hearing the news, many motorists instinctively spun out on bridges, sped into ditches, slammed into guardrails, and rammed into each other. Stores sold out…

Property in West Knox County which was recently condemned to make way for a new high school is embroiled in a new controversy. Real estate developer Elroy McClear has launched an effort to have the property condemned to make way for a strip mall, once the county has completed its condemnation with the current owners….

The Clarence Brown Theatre, located at the University of Tennessee, is featuring the world-premier of ” ” in May 2005. ” ” is a silent play featuring a cast of zero. Tom Cervone, Managing Director, of the Clarence Brown Theatre believes claims this will be one of the key productions since the opening of the…

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An undated file photo showing the early redneck man on the cliffs at Point 19. Scientists have identified a man found living at Norris Lake as a possible missing link between cromagnon man and present-day redneck. The man was discovered cooking a rudimentary gar stew on the cliffs at Point 19 by Powell High student…

Put antacids for the Southern palate on your next shopping list. We don’t just overeat during the holiday season, people tend to overindulge frequently. In a land of excess, antacids are almost a daily staple. The problem, most people don’t like the chalky or clearly imitation berry taste of most antacids. Longs Drug Store has…

Due to cost constraints, the Inaugural Knoxville Marathon has announced that the marathon course will be changed to 26 trips around a 1.008 mile loop around the Sunsphere. This will bring an estimated $42,000 in savings from the reduced need for police support and aid stations. For safety reasons, it is asked that runners not…

Cracker Barrel, the famously old country store based in Lebanon, Tennessee, announced they will be shifting their focus away from the tried and true standard to develop a more modern, hip, urban alternative. Cracker Barrels are known to maintain hour-long waits even when there are two restaurants placed at the same exit off the interstate,…

don’t know why, but I keep having that thought.

Chuck Morris, President of Board of the Bijou Theatre, has announced plans to bring the theatre to solvency. Aided by the cash influx recently provided by Sam Furrow, the Bijou is being redeveloped as a home for wayward mothers.

The Central Business Improvement District has unveiled new vending machines that will be placed throughout Downtown Knoxville to help with feeding the homeless. These machines, each sponsored by a local restaurant, will allow pedestrians to insert small change and receive various bits of leftovers from the previous day. These leftovers can then be given to…